Residency at the Banff Center

I’m excited to announce that I’ll be doing a Songwriter residency at the Banff Center for the Arts in Alberta this March. Three weeks in the Canadian Rockies writing songs – sounds like a recipe for… something! Hopefully something good ūüôā

Anyway, I’m very appreciative for the opportunity and looking forward to the experience. I’ll be sure to post some pics so check back in with me here or on the social.

Write on!

Digipedia – A Lexicon for the Digital Age

Updated Nov¬†2015: It seems that in this new digital reality¬† – where innovation outpaces conventional language and web services are fast replacing adjectives ‚Äď it is necessary to have a new lexicon that gives meaning to the common experiences we share while grappling with a world run by boxes full of wires.¬† I googled (exempli gratia) the term Digipedia and the results seemed irrelevant to this topic matter and therefore highly borrowable, so without further ado I present:

Digipedia ‚Äď A Lexicon for the Digital Age

(Authors note: This is a work in progress. Have an addition? Send ideas here)

Pornews – A new breed of internet journalism that crosses cutting edge reporting with porn based marketing tactics. A perfect example being the recent “shocking” viral news story about OSU student¬†Kendra Southerland‘s porn video shot in the school library. While the story is clearly of the utmost importance from a moral standpoint, it becomes somewhat suspect by the unnecessary inclusion¬†of the website upon which this viral porn movie was uploaded. Dammit Pornhub!? Why won’t you load!!!

Phantom Phone Syndrome РThe act of repeatedly reaching for your phone in your pant pocket or pocketbook despite the fact that it has been broken for over a week. Kind of like trying to scratch the foot of the leg you lost in Nam but in this case you actually dropped your phone in the toilet at the local club doing god knows what. Syndrome is especially noticeable in awkward situations.

Click Happy РThe phenomenon that occurs when you go to Amazon or some other online retailer with the sole purpose of purchasing a book and end up with a shopping cart full of  toilet paper, cat toys and edible Christmas decorations.

UJ – That person at a party or other social gathering that sits at the computer and plays the favourite hits from the 70s and 80s (and those¬† other decades) entirely off of YouTube. The task of creating clean mixes has grown increasingly difficult with the influx of “you can skip this ad in 5 seconds” commercials, begging the question: Do we need a U-Mixer to alleviate this problem!? Seasoned UJs know that this can be accomplished with multiple browser windows ūüėČ

WwwordsThe new language rapidly developing on the internet – loosely resembling English and other established dialects, entirely devised to escape spam filters. Example from a recent email selling somthng from somwhre (can you guess what!?):

“Wonderfl Sex helperrs All cards accpted C A N A D I A NN meeds”



Beta’d Breath¬†– The respiratory process of someone who has just made a particularly promising post to facebook or another social media service while they wait for someone to comment or at the very least “like” their post (ie. He waited with beta’d breath for a response to his latest cat shaving video)


Ccoward – Someone who indiscriminately CC’s their boss and/or other higher ups in their organization on all work related email that has the slightest hint of confrontation. Not quite as cowardly as the Bccoward but still fucking cowardly.


Cyberspaceout ‚Äď A period of inactivity, frequently accompanied by a blank stare, as you fire up a browser window and then promptly forget what it was you were about to search for.


LOLAME – an appropriate way to refer to someone who writes the acronym LOL (laughing out loud) about something they just posted themselves.


Slowding – The process that occurs in between when you click on a very popular link that someone posted on “your wall” or in “your feed” and when something actually appears on your screen.


Saliwating – Similar to slowding but the content your waiting to slowd is more frequently related to a food recipe (or picture) or often porn.


Tweenge –¬†¬†A momentary hollow feeling in the stomach or gut, possibly accompanied by shortness of breath, when you realize the tweet or other social media post you just “sent” may ruin your life or that of someone you don’t even know. (eg. Spike Lee’s unfortunate tweet about the Trayvon Martin case)


YouHole¬† – A type of bottomless internet pit that begins with you watching YouTube clips of¬† David Faustino’s (aka D’Lil) short lived rap career and finds you an hour and 100 clicks later watching footage of the 1992 LA riots. Any relation!? Whose to say.

Igloofest 2015

I went to check out Igloofest last night(Friday Jan 26) in the the Old Port of Montreal and I must admit I was pretty impressed. Damn, Montrealers like to have a good time! It doesn’t matter if it’s -10c and snowing out. If such conditions existed in Los Angeles or Houston, the entire civic population would be in lock down. But Montrealers, young and old alike,¬† pile in to their snowsuits and head out in to the freezing night¬† to shake their collective padded asses off to hardcore electronic music . It’s a sight to behold. By 11pm – around the time I departed – the festival grounds were almost too packed to get from point A to point B. The dance floor was a gyrating mass of fluorescent gore-tex that generated enough heat to sustain itself well in to the late evening hours.

 Igloofest-2015a

 

 

Your ticket to the frozen festival gave you access to a lot of activities: There were two stages, the Sapporo main stage that could probably hold between 10 to 15 thousand people and a smaller round, semi-enclosed area hosted by Videotron. I spent most of my time at the Videotron stage as the music was better and it felt more intimate.

 

For those more interested in winter sports there was sumo hockey Рplayers dressed in enormous fat suits trying to play 2 on 2 hockey. It was pretty funny to watch, especially when someone fell over and it took the combined effort of all the referees to get them back on their feet. This was next to a multi-player video game that looked like a cross between Dance Dance Revolution and the Blue Man Group barrel drumming skit. And there was also a Sapporo tent where you could get a certified Igloofest picture of you and your buds in your awesome Tigger outfits.

 

Igloofest 2015

So clearly there was a lot to see and do. To name it all would be challenging but here are a few highlights:

 

Spiced Jagermeister and Hot Chocolate – a new winter favourite.

 

One song played by a DJ at the¬†Videotron stage seemed to get everyone particularly excited. I’d never heard it before but I’m pretty sure the chorus repeated “I’m in love with a golf club” over and over again. Go figure.¬†If anyone knows who wrote the song or what it is called, please let me¬†know. I’d like to share it with my Mom, who is also in love with a golf club.

 

Pneumatic ski bunnies as far as the eye could see. They sure build ’em pretty in MTL.

 

At the peak of one song, someone in a day-glo Unicorn costume was lofted high about the crowd. The crowd responded with a massive roar and raised a sea of silver Sapporo cans in salute.

 

There was a heated indoor area with some bleachers where you could¬†warm up. At one point I was sitting on the bleachers taking a break and two girls came over and sat next to me. One of the girls had clearly had a bit “too much” and her friend asked me to make sure she didn’t go anywhere while she went to get¬†her some water. After sitting in silence for a while, I turned to her and asked “Are you OK?” Without skipping a beat she replied “I have a boyfriend.” You just can’t win.

 

All in all, though, it was pretty bumping¬†for a sub-zero music¬†festival.¬†It kind of feels like Quebec’s answer to Burning Man. Freezing Dame anyone? You heard it hear first!